An Afternoon Nap in the Sun

I'm trying not to be whiny, I'm not sure if it's working.

Today, for some reason, I am ridiculously comfortable.

It's not different from any other day, from what I can tell.  But all day I've just been in a good place, I don't know how to really describe it.  It's like the fourth day of staying at a beach house.  You're finally at home enough not to worry too much about staying in a house that isn't yours with people who you don't normally live with, and you're not yet concerned about what you have to do after your week at the beach. 

I guess it just feels...warm.  I don't know, that's the best explanation I can give, but I like it.  Why can't every day have this feeling?

Dee

Not My Burden

How do you know if life is treating you well?

Maybe it's whether we're treating ourselves well....

I find that I write more when I'm talking less.  Not that I'm being antisocial, but recently I think I've been more introverted and thoughtful.

Maybe we have a weekly quota of talkativeness.  If I talk a lot for the first three days of the week, then the next four I seem to have nothing to say to anybody.

I'm exhausting myself with ideas.  Be Productive. Run Your Own Life. Be a Free Thinker and Understand. 

What about Take a Chill Pill.  Let Whatever Happens Happen.  Don't Analyze Everything.

Life is a work in progress.  After a couple weeks of driving myself I'm not going to worry anymore.  I'm settled into something and I can't make decisions for long-term plans yet.

I'm riding this out.

Brain Rot

I don't know where I'll be living in a year, and it's kind of exciting.

I've realized that I know what I want, but I don't know how to get there.  And I'm a little scared to voice what I want in case I fall short.  It's like when you start a project that you're extremely excited for, so you immediately tell like five people, and then three days later you realize how silly your idea was and don't end up following through.  I like follow-through but it's difficult, and you lose heart a lot.  Sometimes you feel like what you're doing is silly or pointless, even though it started out with exceptional potential.
Maybe I should approach things like learning to dance.  When you learn to dance, you learn the very basic moves and then you slowly begin to build on those, step-by-step, until you can dance without thinking about it.  Maybe I should It might be better if I take things step-by-step, so as not to get overwhelmed by expectations.

In unrelated news, I'm ready for October.  October is my very favorite month, you can feel the weather changing, and you can see the cacophony of holidays coming up, and it's just nice.  If I didn't get so cold in the winter, I'd move to a more northern state where you can see the leaves changing.  September feels like it's running long.  This is such a tiresome month, it's hardly in my Top 5, and this year it seems to be particularly lagging.
I'm tiring myself out.  All of this recent Optimism and Positivity has been great, and I want to continue on that general path, but sometimes you just need to sit in your pajamas all day watching movies and rotting your brain.  Well I've been in that frame of mind for about a week and a half now, and while I'm tired of it because it makes me feel even more like a lazy bum, I can't seem to bring myself to be as productive and positive as I was before.  I suppose it's a work in progress.

Dee

Out of the Blue

You know that feeling you get when you're given music that fits, and you didn't realize you were looking for it?

Humans vs Elephants

I read something last night that said humans have a powerful memory, and I realized just now that it's very true.  Yesterday, September 11th, the feeling of the day in media and in conversation was the same feeling as the year before and the year before that.  I understand, Support our Troops, God Bless those who've lost, Never Forget, it makes sense.  It hasn't even been 10 years, so I'm not judging, but it makes me wonder how long it's going to be until that same atmosphere isn't over the day.  When can we, as humans or as a nation, let it go as something horrible that happened, but that we're recovering?  I think it will be a very, very long time.  There are still days commemorating WWII and before.  With good reason, it's good to remember and be thankful and acknowledge, but why do we have to dwell so much on the past?  Why can't we as humans let these things go, after a certain point?

  If, on February 18th you are suddenly reminded or struck with the thought of things that happened on 9/11/01, then take a moment and feel what you're feeling.  Yesterday wasn't my day to feel what maybe I'm "supposed" to feel about the day.  But that doesn't mean I won't feel like that at some point.
Maybe more people are remembering and feeling what they felt nine years ago today, rather than how they felt the day before.  Yesterday is the official acknowledgment, but maybe today is when people really stop to think about it.  Especially the people who were directly effected.  Who lost someone they loved.  How were they feeling the day after the attack?

We hold grudges, and we put a lot of stock into things that happened a long time ago that aren't affecting us anymore at all.  Elephants have very good memories, but do they celebrate birthdays?  And anniversaries of when they met each other? And that One Time a lion attacked them?  I don't know, but somehow I doubt it.  Maybe we should try and be more like elephants.
Recognize and Realize, but don't weigh yourself down with the burden of Remembering.
Which isn't to say we shouldn't celebrate anniversaries and holidays, or that we shouldn't take a moment to think about That Thing that happened x-amount of years ago on this day; I just think we should relax a little.

xxx
Dee

Comfort & Intrigue

Why am I so intrigued by blogs?  I like writing in this style, and I like putting my thoughts out there into the webiverse.  I adore reading blogs, I can sit for hours reading different blogs and checking out all sorts of styles within this single format of display.
Maybe it has to do with the endless possibilities of these Regular Joe's, and their fascinating minds, giving enough of a crap to put what they think and feel and see into a format that anybody can see.  It's a documentation of peoples lives, a thought process.  Blogs are an endless list of human intelligence put to use for the sake of satisfaction.

For me, my blog is like my bedroom.  The way it looks, colors and knick-knacks etc., create a feeling and an atmosphere.  It's the first impression of a space that either makes you want to stay and make yourself at home, or find out else there is do discover here.  The difference is, with my room this is all my space I don't have to share it with a single person.  I can lock myself in and know that I'm in my corner of space.  But with this blog, I want to share it, and get it out into the world wide web and have people experience it.  I want people to see what I have to say, and I want it to affect them.
To make them smile, or make them think, or maybe to help them pass the time in a good or interesting way.  I don't want to be an ant among an anthill.  I want to make a difference to a person that I've never met.  I want my life to be worthwhile.  I don't know how to do that yet.

Dee

Chatter Box

I often get the feeling I talk too much.

When I'm in a talkative mood I tend to be a complete chatterbox with the inability to shut up and my filter system is very low.  Thus, I often make a fool out of myself or say confusing, roundabout things.  And yet I continue to say things in the same manner, but don't realize until after I've said it that I may have screwed myself over - filter system.
Luckily, I usually don't talk your ear off if I haven't known you that long.  So by the time you know me and won't think I'm a complete idiot as soon as I say something idiotic and rambling, my filter system shuts down and I talk your ear off.  Sometimes I feel sorry for my friends, and yet they continue to stick with me.

Do you ever get the feeling you're bothering someone when you're doing a lot of talking and they're either not talking at all or barely holding up their end of the conversation?  You tend to feel worse especially if they are your friend, if you're doing all the talking in a conversation with an acquaintance, well what do you expect?  But if you're talking with a good friend and they're not talking back....
 I try and apply my talkative tendencies to writing, but somehow I lose steam faster than when I'm actually talking.  I think it has to do with staying on subject.  When I'm talking a mile a minute I'll jump from topic to topic with barely a segue.  Yet when I'm writing, I at least attempt to focus on the subject at hand.
Hm, I should maybe work on that.

Happy Labor Day weekend,
Dee

Happy September!

I was busy every weekend in August, go figure.  But now it's September and aside from starting school I have nothing on my agenda this month.  I'm dedicating myself to finding happiness in everyday, humdrum life, and reporting what I discover.

I'm going to make an effort in my life.  

I've decided to help my brother, as well.  

                                                   He's unaware of my decision.
But I think it will be a good change of pace for
him to do productive and/or meaningful things.

Happiness is Universal,
Dee

Things to do Every Day

 Listen to good music.

Do something productive.

DON'T PIG OUT ON JUNK FOOD.

Talk to people you enjoy.

be outside.

Read or experience something inspirational.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND BE AT PEACE WITH YOUR DECISION.

Accept it or Change it.

Greet the day with a positive outlook.
make up your mind to be happy.

Go to bed feeling fulfilled.

Look for small things to be joyful about.

xxx,

Dee