Sunshine and Daisies

People always like to say things like "Seize the day!" and "Control your own fate!" and "Live in the moment", or "Live like today is your last".

I'm having some trouble with that right now.  Mostly because I feel like I"m on house arrest.  I don't leave my house, this isn't by choice.  I"m not agoraphobic, I just have a lack of transportation and no friends who live nearby.  The closest friend is about 45 minutes away, but she has a life, not to mention she's moving in a couple of weeks.
It would appear that I will have no opportunity to change my current path until roughly August.  It could be more like mid-July, but I doubt it somehow.  Because even though I'll have more transportation, as aforementioned all my friends will be gone.  Okay, I really don't want to think about this anymore.

So I have a new topic:
Why do I always end up writing when I'm in a hopeless mood?  Or angry.  Either way, its almost always a negative emotion.  I don't like it, it's frustrating and tiring and I don't like being sad or angry or unhappy.  It makes me feel alone and stuck.  Like there's no end in sight, I won't be getting out of this mood because whats the point?  I don't care how hot it is, tomorrow I'm going for a bike ride.
One day, I swear, I am going to live within walking distance of a beach.  It's always there. It's pretty, even when it's gray.  There's typically some good people watching.  Nobody bothers you.  You can walk around or just sit or lay in the sand.  I'm comfortable when I'm at the beach.  Never mind the sunburns and sand in your book, I'm willing to deal with those things. 

Need a Moment?

Do you ever wish you could pause time?
Just for a couple of hours.  To get a nap or talk to a friend, or jut a little extra time to get things done.

Today I have a massive case of this.  I don't know if it's because my brain is foggy, or maybe I'm just a little too tired.  But I really could use an hour or two of time to sleep and finish this schoolwork.  Or even more time to devote to the mixtape I'm trying to make.
Which leads me to my next point:
Why is it so hard to pick decent - or any - songs for this thing?  Does it once again have to do with lack of sleep?  Or rather lack of ambition partially due to discouraging words?  I'd really like a clearer mental picture of what I'm doing before I take a break, but unfortunately I think a break would do me good before I frustrate myself too much with this thing.

Another thing I'm worried about with this mixtape, which is for my brother, is...what if I lame up and don't finish it at all?  What if this is as far as I get?  What if I do end up finishing it and am happy with it, but he doesn't like it?

I guess I'll worry about this later, until then - it's naptime.
L

Note: The original title for this post was "A Soundtrack for Lost Time", but I'm considering using that for a) another blog entry, b) the title to a mixtape [hah], or c) a title for something else entirely.

Edit: apparently the universe's answer to my plea to pause time was to give me a power-outage for four hours. Not quite what I had in mind.

Mistreatment of the Bad Guy

You hear about super heroes all the time.  Comic book style, or cartoon, or just your Average Joe or Jill turned Hero.  You get a brief history on them and how they turned Hero, then you follow them through their adventures.  What I want to know, is why don't you get the same from Villains?  I mean sure, there might be a couple overlooked full-stories from Villains, but they just don't get the same treatment.
I understand that people like to root for the Good Guy, but doesn't the Bad Guy deserve to tell his story?  Maybe that's the reason he doesn't have a story, he wasn't willing enough to share.  But honestly, how did these people turn evil?  They weren't born that way, surely.  I understand that there are brief histories of these characters, but we only see them from the Good Guy's point of view. 
I'm not a comic book person, or for that matter much of a superhero person.  But I like stories and I like to know how things got to where they are now.  If I were to have read comic books or watched things like The Fantastic Four maybe I wouldn't be writing this blog.  The point of the matter is, Super Villains and the like should be able to tell their story if they so wish and have it recognized as something more than a kid turned bad.
Let's look at the Disney/Pixar movie, The Incredibles.  Now, we don't get the whole story from the super heroes here, but we know more or less how they came to this point.  What we don't know, even though we get the gist of it, is how Syndrome, the super villain, got to own his own island, and how he acquired....everything.  All we know about him, is he was dissed by Mr. Incredible, and set out to destroy super heroes.  Well what I want to know is, what was happening in his life that Mr. Incredible was his only role model?  Or maybe he wasn't Syndrome's only role model, but the most important and prominent one.  How can one brush-off turn into a kid turning into a villain willing and aiming to kill his once hero?

On another note, why are super heroes completely okay and willing to use their powers, typically newly acquired, to fight off evil?  If I had spider webs coming out of my hands, I don't think I'd be rushing out to save burning buildings.

Unanswered questions frustrate me to no end.
L

Electronically Challenged

Do I enjoy listening to crap-quality music? No.
Would you know this from hanging around me? No.
Am I a masochist? Probably.

The speakers on my computer, belovedly decorated as they are, suck; one doesn't even work, come to think of it.  Yet I continue to listen to music on my computer.  Sometimes I'll use my stereo and listen to the radio, but it's way staticy...or much more so than it should be.  I know what you're thinking -- why am I using my computer or listening to the radio if I have a perfectly good stereo that plays CD's?  The answer to this question is...my computer doesn't burn discs so the only CD's I have aren't my favorites.  Yes I have an ipod, and yes I have an ipod dock.  The problem there is, I forget to download new music.  So everything I have on my ipod at this time is old, dumb, or over-played.

Am I making excuses?  Absolutely.

Have a good Sunday, kids
L

EDIT: wow I sound relatively spoiled with a computer, stereo, and ipod/dock and still complaining.  But I swear they were all given to me, and my computer hardly works!